(n-1) blog Entry

Thesis

While Social Security started off as a brilliant program that would be able to sustain itself no matter what changes in populations occurred, changes made to the system have made it so that the program is failing and by the time many people who pay into it reach the age where they could benefit there will be nothing left.

While Social Security started off as a brilliant program that would be able to sustain itself no matter what fluctuations in populations occurred. Changes made to the system have made it so that the program is failing and by the time many people who pay into it reach the age where they could benefit from it, there will be nothing left.

Revision

In 1929 America’s stock market crashed and in the chaos that ensued that incident the nation slipped into an economic depression which has become to be known as the Great Depression. This depression prompted action to be taken by the government and was manifested in President Franklin D. Roosevelt’s New Deal. This deal helped America’s economy in many different ways such as giving the unemployed jobs, improving the standard of living by building new roads and bridges, and giving older workers incentives to retire. This deal provided benefits to retirees, people with disabilities, and the unemployed so that they might survive.

In 1929, America’s stock market crashed. In the chaos that ensued, the nation slipped into an economic depression which has hence become known as the Great Depression. This turmoil prompted the government to take action which was manifested in President Franklin D. Roosevelt’s New Deal. This deal helped America’s economy in many different ways such as giving the unemployed jobs, giving older workers incentives to retire and providing benefits to retirees, people with disabilities, and the unemployed so that they might have economic security in hard times.

Thesis Statement

While Social Security started off as a brilliant program that would be able to sustain itself no matter what changes in populations occurred, changes made to the system have made it so that the program is failing and by the time many people who pay into it reach the age where they could benefit there will be nothing left.

Improvement!

Talking to people face to face has become outdated. Nowadays the need to actually look a person in the face is unnecessary. A couple of years ago we were actually forced to see people in person but thanks to newfangled technology, i.e. social networks, cell phones, we don’t have to! We don’t have to enjoy the smile of another person or the warmth of their hug anymore! We’re free! We have emoticons to express emotions now instead of seeing them and feeling them in person. Plus it’s easier to tell if someone’s telling the truth online. I mean in person sure, you can look into the windows of their soul, hear the intonation of their voice and notice irregular/nervous habits as they talk to you. But in the internet we have text! Unfeeling, up for interpretation, utterly confusing at times text!

Talking to people face to face has simply become outdated in recent days. The need to actually look a person in the face is now unnecessary thanks to newfangled technology (i.e. social networks, cell phones). A couple of years ago we were actually forced to see people in person but we don’t have to anymore! We don’t have to enjoy the little things that come with having an actual conversation with people; the smile of that other person or the warmth of their hug. We’re free from such shackles! I mean in person sure, you can look into the windows of their soul, hear the intonation of their voice and notice irregular/nervous habits as they talk to you. But with the internet we have text! Unfeeling, up for interpretation, utterly confusing text! Using emotions to tell how a person’s feeling? Pfft. Emotions are overrated anyway. They make things complex and add unnecessary drama to life. Besides, we have emoticons to express emotions now.

Oh look! A Journal entry! How marvelous!

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/world/africa-mideast/international-forces-will-regret-coming-to-libya-gadhafi-vows/article1948431/

In most of the Middle East there have been uprisings against dictatorships and one of the continuing struggles is the battle in Libya. There has been much debate over whether or not foreign intervention is called for after two bomber pilots were ordered to carry out a raid on a civilian area to flush out the rebellion. Personally I think that we should help just not in a huge way where we try to redo their entire government. Get in, make sure all the civilians stay safe, don’t give away our guns and get out. Being the most powerful nation, we should do something but we don’t have to do everything.

http://techcrunch.com/2011/03/20/fun-fun-fun-fun-fun/

Recently a music video called “Friday” by Rebecca Black has gone viral online. What the controversy about this is that people are garnering internet fame and could push them into legitimate fame such is the case with Justin Bieber and Fred. I think this is a fantastic new way to scout out talent because it can sort through those who aren’t so good and find the good ones. However, the downside is that some videos, such as Black’s, gather views due to infamy.

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/world/rest-of-world/After-year-of-woe-Haiti-chooses-new-president/articleshow/7751824.cms

A year ago the country of Haiti was devastated by an earthquake. Already hanging on by the merest of threads, this country not only literally crumbled but also crumbled politically. There were no leaders to lead the people in recuperation efforts as in Japan where rescue and recovery efforts began almost immediately. This election is the beginning of the Haitians getting back on their feet. I think it’s fantastic that the people will finally have a leader to push them through this hard time I only wonder why it took so long. Hopefully with a leader to spearhead the movement, recovery and rebuilding will happen in a country where hopelessness permeates everything.

Comparing Things

Marshmallow Peeps: This critter’s bright colors and delicious flesh makes it the perfect holiday treat for a sticky five year old to get even stickier. Its yellow sugar coating gives a sense of uniform with its compatriots which is accompanied by its vacant stare. There is no individuality to be found in the soul of this being despite its life like appearance. Its many brothers and sisters look almost exactly identical in size, shape and stature, making it indistinguishable from the rest of its pack. Clearly these creatures are being bred for a hostile takeover of some sort, where the loss of one life is nothing and can be replaced by another.

A baby chicken: Like its counterpart, a live baby chick’s coat is highlighter yellow bright, making it an easy target for predators. It’s capability to grow when it is introduced to feed and water is truly a miracle to wonder at. Its flesh is craved but because it has so little of it at this point in its life time is allowed for growth before harvesting. Its tiny peeps and twitchy movement suggest some sort of individuality amongst the different beings. Their eyes are somewhat intelligent and each of its brothers and sisters seem to have minds that are completely their own, even if there isn’t much going on. These free spirits have no issue with the world and appear to be content to live out their short lives growing and being utterly adorable.

(2^3)-1

I am going to evaluate The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins for this journal assignment. With the movie rendition of the book being made and come to theaters relatively soon, the book series has become increasingly popular among younger readers. This book could be classified as a post-apocalyptic adventure book because it takes place sometime after a terrible tragedy hit the whole world and the book is primarily action based. It could be compared to other books or movies that have similar themes of gladiator based fighting and a post-apocalyptic setting. Some examples would be Gladiator, The Matrix and The City of Ember. The book doesn’t really offer anything else other than an entertaining story because it is a fictional story.

For evaluating this book, my first criterion will be whether or not the characters develop as the story progresses or whether they just remain static and the same. Another aspect I’m going to look at is the reality of the events happening in the book. Since it is a fiction novel, this may be hard to say if some of the technologies are realistic but the main part I would focus on with this aspect is the descriptions that don’t have to do with the futuristic technologies. Another criterion I would evaluate the piece on would be if the book was actually written well. If a book doesn’t flow or doesn’t make sense to the reader then it’s not a very good book. One criterion that may be subjective is how invested the reader is able to get with the writing. This is subjective because someone may be turned off from it while someone else may love it to death. Either way it is still a good way to evaluate the book. My final way that I would evaluate this book is the plotline. If a book has a good plotline then more often than not the book will be good. You can mess it up by having terrible characters or make it flow poorly, but if the core idea behind a book is original and compelling, odds are the rest of the book will be as well.

Six

Location, location, location

The autumn breeze flutters leaves on the trees as I step out of my dorm room. I breathe in a deep breath with a smile on my face as I walk down the steps from the West Quad to go to my class across the street at the IST building. A few short steps down the stairs and I reach the bottom landing, turning right to cut through the less traveled route I normally take. That’s when I see him.

A man with short cut hair and a light jacket is walking through the tunnel. I probably wouldn’t have even noticed him if it weren’t for his eyes suddenly widening behind his frames at the sight of me. He reached into his bag and pulled out a gun and cocked it with a click. I throw my backpack to the side and back up a few paces. He’s going to shoot me. I just know it. But I’m not going to go down that easily. He leaves the shadow of the tunnel and raises the gun, aiming at my chest. He pulled the trigger

I just barely dodge the first shot, jumping to the side in the nick of time. He’s cocked back the gun again though and is firing, again and again and again. It’s a miracle that I’m not shot yet. We circle each other for a bit as he waits for me to get closer so he can get a better shot. I notice movement behind him and I see a girl slinking in the shadows of the trees. She puts her finger to her lips and sneaks up behind the man with the gun. I’m not sure what it was but somehow he knew. He turned around and fired, right into her chest. I dived towards him but he turned around and I was shot as well. The man sighed a breath of relief and bent over to pick up what he shot.

No we’re not dead. Zombies can’t die silly.

Quotes:                                                                     

“People have tempers and not everyone can control theirs. Sometimes fights can break out and even plastic and foam can become dangerous.” –Rachel Bishop Freshman-English

“These guys are living out their video game fantasies in a safe way through this club.” –Anonymous Freshman-Business

“Impossible to stereotype because all sorts of people are in it. The Extremists who modify their guns like crazy and then the mild ones who just play to blow off some steam.” –Anonymous Freshman-Buisness

Facts and such:

“All of our games follow a common thread: we strive to bring people together for human interaction, physical challenges, and tactical game-play. Our events use traditional board and console gaming techniques in an exhilarating "real life" atmosphere.”

“The Penn State Urban Gaming Club is dedicated to fundraising money for charitable causes. For this purpose we have created the position of the Charity Chair”

<http://urbangaming.org/>

“HvZ is played at college campuses across the nation, said Castner. It was founded by students at Goucher College in Maryland, and other campuses have tailored the basic rules to fit their own schools.”

<http://www.collegian.psu.edu/archive/2010/03/22/post_132.aspx>

"But as Zombies' popularity has grown, criticism of it has grown, too -- especially since last April, when a severely disturbed English major named Seung Hui Cho armed himself with two semiautomatic handguns and killed 33 people, including himself, at Virginia Tech University. In the immediate wake of that shooting, Humans vs. Zombies became controversial, raising a collegiate version of the prevailing question of our time: What is the balance between security and freedom? And it prompts another fascinating question: What can a group of young people learn about one another -- and themselves -- by running around campus with Nerf guns for days on end? "

<http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/04/08/AR2008040802044.html>

Found this too

<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mza1V20P2wg>

Four

The speakers who addressed the issue of drinking at Penn State did a good job of describing the situation in ways that their audience, which is anyone who happens to listen to the radio, could understand. They not only gave facts to support their argument but they also told stories from their own perspectives. The main reason that I think this issue was investigated was because the Princeton Review had rated Penn State the number one party school in America. With drinking always being a problem on college campuses, what exactly makes a school a top rated party school was an intriguing question to investigate. The speakers quote a variety of different people in the State College area from students at Penn State, to bartenders, pizza delivery guys and neighbors who live in the surrounding area around the college. The facts that the speakers provide are just that, facts. They aren’t biased towards not drinking or for drinking but they tell the truth about the subject matter at hand. Some of these statistics show how different groups are affected by this issue. One example of this would be the section of the talk where they discussed how different businesses were adapting and actually flourishing to the party school’s reputation. The owner of Maclanahan’s while not directly being affected by the drinking that happens at the bars still feels the effects of the party atmosphere that the school has.

I think that the point that the speakers want the readers to realize is that drinking on college campuses is a problem. The major problem for the universities being able to reach the students to make them realize what a problem drinking can be. Every year a new grade of students comes in and as they said in the talk, “they [The University Staff] have to start all over again.” While no one actually comes out and says that this is their opinion, by the stories that they choose to tell and the statistics that they decide to show it is somewhat obvious what their stand on the matter is.

This was really interesting towards me because when I first heard what we were supposed to write, an investigative journalism piece, I was kind of disappointed. I thought it was going to be a somewhat dry piece that I would read in the newspaper where all the facts are there but there is no real creativity. After listening to this talk I realize that just as much can be told about an issue by telling a story about it than just spelling it out plain and simple can. I really liked the stories that they incorporated into the piece because it gave me something to visualize other than just being read fact after fact. The only thing that I didn’t like about this piece was the topic choice. I agree that drinking on college campuses is an issue but it seems like it would be such a morbid topic to look into.

Tres

Personally I think I have a problem with the whole idea of a rough draft. There’s nothing wrong with rough drafts in my opinion they just bother me because it’s terribly sloppy. I know that the first time you write something it isn’t going to be perfect and by all means it shouldn’t be unless you’re some sort of writing prodigy but I still have an issue with the concept of writing down nonsense that will never be incorporated into the actual piece that you’re writing. I tend to have a nasty habit of editing my work as I’m writing instead of simply getting all of my thoughts down and then going back and fixing things up. It gets the same results but oftentimes I tend to get off track and get lost in the editing that I forget where I was planning on going to next. I think that anyone who writes anything can say they’ve had the feeling where they’ve just sat down and known they’ve had to write and yet nothing comes to mind to write about. Sometimes I’ve been stuck in such a situation and I’ve been able to get myself unstuck by re-reading what I’ve already written or simply writing through the writer’s block by writing nonsense until an idea hits me or the writing juices simply start flowing again. In my own writing I’ve told myself to just start writing. ‘It’s only a rough draft,’ I’ll say to myself, ‘It’s supposed to be rough.’ And it actually does help to get all my ideas down onto the paper because then I can go off of that already written idea and write something that is even better. I think for this paper I might just write down all the elements that actually happened in the story and cut out the parts later that I don’t want. It would be like making a movie because the director doesn’t use all the footage that he films. He has bloopers and cut-scenes that no one ever sees because he didn’t want to put them into the movie. For some reason, that metaphor makes the idea of a rough draft make sense to me.

I assume that for informational or persuasive pieces this process might not be as valuable of a tool for a writer to use because those works tend to be more focused on facts and a pre-planned structure. It still is valuable to write a rough draft but writing rough drafts in the way that Lamott writes them seems to me to be more of a tool for creative writers to use to just get all their ideas down so they can be expounded upon later. For informational pieces the author would make an outline so that he/she knows which facts would go where and so the creative process of simply just writing would take a back seat to the already structuralized backbone of the essay that is the outline.

In her essay Lamott said that she trusted the system, more or less which kind of makes sense because in her mind she knows that it’s all going to work out in the end but being a writer she probably doesn’t like just writing down crap and then re-reading said crap and thinking, Jeez, this is crap. No writer likes that feeling that what they’re writing is not very good. So when trusting the rough draft system, she is trusting that whatever she writes will help her out when she comes back to it but doing it begrudgingly so because she knows that she’ll write substandard material in the present. At least that’s my take on it.

Two

The main subject of the memoir My Addicted Son is the author’s addicted son who is addicted to methamphetamines. The story follow’s the son’s progress through his drug addicted story from the father’s perspective as his son repeatedly tries, fails and tries again to get clean and away from the drug filled life style. This story is particularly relevant nowadays because many teenagers and adults are struggling with drug addictions and family members who care deeply about them are dragged through the torment and agony of watching their loved ones hover in the balance between success and failure. Although the story was about the son’s progress to getting clean what the memoir really captured was the emotional turmoil the drug addicted person puts on their family and/or people who care about them. Coming from the father’s perspective was extremely emotionally trying because the hopelessness that he felt seeped through his words and made the reader see where he was coming from.

I think that the author would have wanted other parents who are going through the same difficulties to read this story to realize that sitting by and doing nothing while your child “experiments” could lead to far worse things. He seems to almost have a regretful tone when he recalls the conversations he had with people where they told him to just let nature run its course and he would stop and although he never actually says it, I think he regrets not interfering more sternly than he had. Although it may not have been his fault he blames himself for what has happened to his son. His story could serve as a warning for other parents to step in and stop drug abuse before it gets too late like it had with his son.

One of the most powerful rhetorical devices that the author used in my opinion was his emotional response to what was going on in his life. The way the author wrote it I could feel every emotional valley and crest that he went through and the progression of how his emotions degraded into a degree of apathy over time. It was somewhat traumatizing watching the proud father of a bright kid diminish in stature until he was no longer thinking along the lines of, “my kid will snap out of it” but instead, “At least he’s alive.” It goes to show how far a parent would be willing to go for their kid but also how much it costs them as well.

Ethos was a major factor in this piece and the author does a good job of sucking the reader in and taking them for a ride on his emotional roller coaster which I think was just what this piece called for.

- Sheff, David. "My Addicted Son," The New York Times Magazine. February 6, 2005.

One

I’ve always felt odd because for some bizarre reason I love to write. People around me would be dreading the big paper coming up but I would get excited. Some aspects of writing I like more than others but overall it’s a good time in my book. One of the things I think I’m great at when it comes to writing is description. I like to put a reader into a room and describe everything that their senses would be able to tell them such as their smell, taste, looks, sounds, anything really that immerses them into the story. Another strength that I think I have is being able to tell what the connotations of words are and how to properly use them in a sentence to get the desired effect. Using screeched instead of yelled may not seem like a major difference but the words themselves have a different effect to them. Whereas both of the words have an insinuation of anger, screeching may also indicate something else such as indignation or fear.

One of the main problems I have when I write is I don’t take the time to plan out what I’m writing like I should. I like to just jump into the writing and eventually I come to a point where I get stuck and I’m not sure where to continue from there. I know how to write outlines and plan out my writing I just have a habit of looking over those planning steps to get to the fun part, writing. The other bad thing about my writing is that I sometimes obsess over what I’m writing and take far too long thinking about how my words will have an effect on the reader. I think that this is both a good thing and a bad thing because it helps me write very good sentences but on the downside, it takes a while for me to write anything that I’m content with anyone else seeing. Not because it’s necessarily bad, it’s just that I think it is. I think what I want to improve is to actually take the time and plan out what I’m going to write as well as going a bit faster when I write so I don’t obsess so much. It’s called a rough draft for a reason and I shouldn’t need to get it perfect the first time.

One of the big authors who inspires me to write is Cinda Williams Chima (http://www.cindachima.com/) just because she’s amazing at making relatable characters, describing everything in vivid detail and also writing action sequences so that I can picture every motion going on in my head. Sometimes I try and make my writing like hers just because she’s so good at what she does. I am also inspired by Claude Monet in my writing, as well as other impressionists (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impressionism) because occasionally I try to do what they do, just with a different medium. I try to take a single moment in time and capture it as best as I can before it fleetingly flies away.

Overall, I think that this course will help me become a better writer by showing me what level I’m expected to be writing on in college and show me the steps to get to that level. I already think that I’m a decent writer but there are always new things to be learned and improvements to be made.